Let me tell you a story...

I know, two posts in one day..whatever will we do.

Anyway, back to the story. Well, let me change that......not so much a story but a series of events really. I think it started earlier than this, but the first time I remember something like this happening was in 11th grade. I was working at a store called T.J. Maxx--I was 16 and my best friend at the time was named Patricia Parker. Patricia and I had been friends since, oh, sixth or seventh grade and we both worked at the store together--got our first job together, what love. At any rate, Patricia called one day and takled to our mutual friend Marsha and told her she got a car. She didn't call me. She called Marsha. My feelings were hurt. Patricia and I never spoke again--unless you count the notes we exchanged calling each other names after that.

I also once had a friend named Heather. Heather and I were friends when I was 11 and she was 9. She had a sister named Jenny, who was 11, who I started out being friends with--and then later Heather because, well--Heather was just more fun. When I was 17 and Heather 15, her first year of high school--she started to date a guy and didn't tell me....we even shared a locker. We also never spoke again after that--except through letters as well I believe.

I graduated high school--with my new best friend Yalanda. She also had a secret from me--she was pregnant, but she did tell me, eventually.

I've had a lot of "friends" through my life. Many of them who fall by the way side from this exact same senerio. I really don't know what it is that starts or causes this. I wish I could call upon them right now and ask why it is that people avoid telling me things. Is it because their afraid of my reaction or is it because I scare them (my reaction to things that is). I really wish I knew.

Where am I going with this? It's happening again now, and I'm almost 30. I used to think it was because I was young, or the friends I kept, ect.,. But now, I have to rexamine all this, really I do. I need to know and understand why this keeps happening to me. I've decided that the best thing to do is to let what is currently happening go on and happen, I'll play stupid as long as I need to. I'm not doing any confronting as I have done in the past...It's just too much. It always ends badly. It always does.

Sometimes friendships are hazard, I don't care what anyone else says.